What keeps a square from moving? Square roots, of course
How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit? Unique Up On It
How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit? Tame Way, Unique Up On It
How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest? They Take The Psycho Path
How Do You Get Holy Water? You Boil The Hell Out Of It
What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall? Dam!
What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long? Polaroids
What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work? A Stick
What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours? Nacho Cheese
What Do You Call Santa's Helpers? Subordinate Clauses
What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand? Quatro Sinko
What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow? Spoiled Milk
What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire? Frostbite
What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches? A Nervous Wreck
What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup? Anyone Can Roast Beef
Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs? Right Where You Left Him
Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils? Because They Have Big Fingers
Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive? Because It Scares The Dog
What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic? Sanka
Why do Birds fly south in the Winter?Ö.. Because itís too far to walk
What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers? Mechanical Engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers build targets.
Do you know what a wok is? It's something you throw at a wabbit.
Why do programmers always get Christmas and Halloween mixed up? Because DEC 25 = OCT 31
What's red and goes up and down? A tomato in an elevator.
What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? We have to stick together.
What do you say when you meet a two-headed monster? Hello, hello.
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldoser.
When is a baseball player like a thief? When he steals a base.
What did the can say to the can opener? You make me flip my lid.
What is a volcano? A mountain with the hiccups.
What do you find at the end of everything? The letter "g".
What did the elephant do when he hurt his toe? He called a toe truck.
Why do two skunks argue? Because they like to kick up a stink.
What did the adding machine say to the cashier? You can count on me.
What is the best way to keep dogs out of the street? Put them in a barking lot.
Why did the cat sleep with a fan on? He wanted to be a cool cat.
What did the painter say to the wall? One more crack and I'll plaster you.
Why is baseball like a cake? They both need a batter.
What did one dandelion say to the other dandelion? Take me to your weeder.
What kind of shoes do you make with banana skins? Slippers!
What did the rug say to the floor? I've got you covered!
How do you make antifreeze? You steal her blanket.
Why does a cow wear a bell? Because her horns don't work.