Never say you know a man until you have divided an inheritance with him.

Spell Checker : a geometric Witch

Never Neglect any of the Sip Sam Seh

Serial port : Where you get your Corn flakes.

Dumb terminal : Bus Stop with no time table

An idea is not responsible for the people who believe in it.

I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.

An idea well expressed is like a design of gold set in silver.

Deprive a mirror of its silver and even the Czar won't see his face.

You will be given a post of trust and responsibility.

Beauty seldom recommends one woman to another. Top

Love is sentimental measles.

Love many trust few , always paddle you're own canoe

Aithnionn ciarog ciarog eile

Elephants are the only mammals with four knees.

Now's the time for all good men.

Words must be weighed not counted.

Is there another word for synonym?

Why do they report power outages on TV?

What do you call a fly with no wings

Never call a man a fool; borrow from him.

The gods send thread for the web begun.:Leif Smith

Standing on head makes smile of frown but rest of face also upside down

How do you know if a turtle is serious?...

Even the smallest candle burns brighter in the dark.

What makes us so bitter against people who outwit us is that they think themselves cleverer than we are.

Sometimes I sit and think sometimes I just sit.

I think therefore I am..... I Think,

Those of you who think you know everything are annoying those of us who do. Top

Reputation: what others are not thinking about you.

Go to mass on sunday... Avoid the Christmas rush.

He who laughs last probably doesn't understand the joke.

How many roads must a man walk down?

Just because it's raining doesn't mean it's autumn.

It's a poor workman who blames his tools.

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself is it considered a hostage situation?

God gives us relatives; thank God we can chose our friends.

Let's just be friends and make no special effort to ever see each other

With clothes the new are best with friends the old are best.

There are many people today who literally do not have a close personal friend.

The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away. Top

There's none so blind as those who will not see

To keep your friends treat them kindly; to kill them treat them often.

Money may buy friendship but money cannot buy love.

The anxiety of some people to make friends is so intense that they never do.

Make new friends but keep the old; those are silver these are gold.

Be slow in choosing a friend slower in changing.

Death is nature's way of telling you to slow down.

A change is as good as a rest,but not quite the same.

Massachusetts has the best politicians money can buy.

Bedfellows make strange politicians. Top

It's no good crying over spilt milk.... you'll just make it salty.

The plural of spouse is spice.

INDIANA:  Home of David Letterman

Nothing Surprises me. I'm a scientist.:Indiana Jones

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains because the average man can see better than he can think.

A lost ounce of gold may be found a lost moment of time never.

A lie in time saves nine.

Like winter snow on summer lawn time past is time gone.

It was a book to kill time for those who liked it better dead.

She's learned to say things with her eyes that others waste time putting into words.

You cannot kill time without injuring eternity.

Let not the sands of time get in your lunch.

Life is very short and there's no time for fussing and fighting.

Which is more important... friendship or time?,

Time's fun when you're having flies.

Clothes maketh a man..... If a corduroy skirt had made me I'd be a bit depressed!!!!!

Mistakes are oft the stepping stones to failure.

When God endowed human beings with brains He did not intend to guarantee them.

Money will say more in one moment than the most eloquent lover can in years.

Swap read error. You lose your mind.

When you go out to buy don't show your silver.

Exam questions are easy it's the answers that are difficult,

Long engagements upset many calls

Mind your Q's and P's or you'll have some letters missing from your alphabet.

Sometimes life is just confusing.

I'm not Short I'm under pressure.

Many hands make light Work

Nothing Works better than Anidin..... Use Nothing

Pensioners half price on Wednesdays... Who wants to buy a pensioner???

Government Health Warning:

Beware of the Government

allot of Alcohol makes you drunk

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And there’s More…….

If beef comes from a cow and ham from a pig, why do they put beef in hamburgers?

If love is blind, is lingerie considered Braille?

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

What do butterfly's feel when they're in love?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

"Am I indecisive?" Can I get back to you on that?

"That's right", he said. "We're philosophers. We think, therefore we am".:Terry Pratchett

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory

A bug in the code is worth two in the documentation.